Thursday, March 20, 2008



我现在才发现朋友在我生活中是多么重要。
因为他们所讲的话，虽然忠言逆耳，但的确是发人深省的金玉良言


Well, firstly

Happy Birthday to Davis and Damien =)

These few days have really been a rollercoaster. Though looking through my archives, I guess that's really more or less a cliched term in my blog now. Oh well, cliches are still true.

Of course, through these trials, God has shown me that I should open my eyes to the people around me. Not everything hinges on a few people, and it is often the people that you don't really pay attention to, that turn out to be your angel.

So thanks Davis, Edwin, Rayson, Chun Yong for being there for me, to listen to my woes and troubles and copious amounts of self-pity. Each one of you has really helped me to get through what I've been going through these past days, whether it be by talking to me, listening to me or just being there with me. I owe a lot to you guys.

Narratives are just not me anymore. Two or three years ago, I guess I was very 'narrative' so to speak, perhaps to the point of unnecessary detail. And now, because of life's lessons, I've kinda shifted away from the seemingly dreary-and-dull process of painstakingly recording the event, to just contemplate the lesson learnt, again perhaps losing myself in needless verbosity on occasion.

As much as I am torn in two to admit, I guess Yang En really has had a profound impact on me, with his "Take the lesson, leave the incident" advice. Yes, remembering the event is important, and in the future, maybe I'll regret not minuting these grains of sand in the hourglass of my life, but for now, just let this little boy learn his lessons.

There's this whole issue on prayer, sin and repentance that has suddenly clogged my brain, and I doubt that I shall put it down here until I make sense of it.

But like they say, time heals. Perhaps not so much healing in the sense that the wound is gone, but healing that leaves the wound as a lesson. Perhaps this is what it takes to prepare for the future, and this is the price that God wants me to pay, to keep me from harm in the future.

I feel ashamed now, that I used to have so much (misguided) rage coursing through me everytime I thought of them. And I simply raged and raged, without thinking properly, without thinking logically. I only thought of what to do, who was at fault, and what was there to learn, but not deep enough In terms that have been hammered in me through educational means, I've not yet achieved a level five thirteen marks. I didn't see the purpose, nor the reason.

And only recently, far too late and thankfully still early, I've remembered something I said in the past. I remembered asking him to find his own happiness, because I saw how he always sacrificed himself and his happiness, for others. And I told him, that sometimes, his own happiness will come at the price of others', but everyone deserves to be happy, and to forge their own happiness.

And perhaps, this is his happiness. I made the promise, that I would help him find that happiness. And indirectly, ironically, perhaps I have. It may not truly be my happiness, but I still regard him, them actually, as friends regardless of their perceptions of me, and if this is what makes them happy, then I guess I will simply bow and leave the stage. Maybe this is what makes them happy, and it's a leap of faith that seems negative somehow, but I'll take it nevertheless.

Life's lessons are learnt in the most quirky, most unexpected ways.

But at the end of the day, I'm always glad I learnt them young.