Wednesday, August 08, 2007



Would you carry your friend's joys, sorrows, happiness and sadness?
Would you carry with you his strengths and weaknesses?
Would you carry your friend on your back?
Or would you leave him to lie by the wayside?

8th August has always been a significant day to my generation. Born in 1992, the only hardships most of us ever encountered were paltry insignificant ones. Perhaps studies top that list, and that alone speaks volumes.

Yet how many of us see 8th August as more than 'the day before national day', or 'a half-day?' For that matter, how many of us see 9th August as more than a holiday?

Sometimes, I wonder how far this generation has dropped. Where our country's 'birthday' is seen as nothing more than a day for relaxation.

My classmates really sicken me sometimes, fill me with absolute disgust. Being asked to go for speech day, how many of them complained? People like Andrew Seow who were swearing their head off, because his small immature brain simply could not express itself any more intellectually. So perhaps vulgarities and a bad attitude is all that people like him know.

Isn't that disgusting? 15 years old, and still they are spoilt beyond imagination, pampered and lulled into arrogance. Apparently, having bad grades, failing your CCA and having a life revolved around computer games is now cool and hip. Also, surrounding yourself with people similarly mentally-retarded makes it correct.

Disgustingly vulgar and immature low-lives who possess not an inch of brain and less so moral values. In all sincerity and honesty, I'd say these people should be expelled so as to not contaminate the intelligent minds of Victoria. Or anywhere else. They should be deported to the North Pole, where their thick skulls and skin will keep them alive, and the intellect of penguins and polar bears will put them to shame. Oh wait,they have no shame. They threw that out to make space for what happened in Bleach episode 610239274.

Today, for all its festivities, contained a whole deeper meaning to it. Who would have guessed, that in spite of all the laughter, singing, swimming and overall fun, the one thing that I would remember the most, and look back with a smile upon, would be the discussion with Alphonsus and Yang En onboard bus 31 to Tampines?

When the members are wrong, is the committee to blame? Yes
When the committee is wrong, who is to blame? Themselves.

The one thing that has always intrigued me about this VsCoExCo is the amazing fluctation in efficiency. And by intrigued, I mean pissed off.

When you've explained most of what there is to explain ( because you can never explain everything ), and the person knows what to do, and yet he doesn't want to do it. Or rather, both the mind and heart tell him yes, but his personal beliefs and personality tell him no. What is left to do? Is it right to push him to do it? But that could be wrong, because that would be telling him that the right way is my way, and who is to say whose is right?

Sometimes I wish life dealt with absolutes. Like this is absolutely correct and is the only method. I think leadership is more or less the anti-thesis of 'absolution', because it's so contextual and circumstancial. How do you know what you're doing is correct? How do you know you're not screwing things up further by trying to do it your way?

And at the same time, what if you feel your way is correct?

What if both parties feel strongly that they're correct? What is there to do then? How do we know who is correct? Or do we simply choose one, and make it right?

Yang En mentioned to me today that CO is, really to him, a CCA. And that he has the passion for it, and the interest, but in the end it's still a CCA.

And how differently I see it. To me, VS has become my life, and I'm not afraid to say that. Some might call me a school slave, but I'm helping to make it a better place, and I'm doing something productive. To me, it's just as fun as your computer games, more so because I'm maturing and learning from this. What can Dota and Bleach teach you? Nothing important. Nothing. So why do people attach so much importance to something of so little relevance and practicality. It's so amazing, really, the sheer delusions of people.

I really am confused about my own ideals and beliefs sometime. Because sometimes I want to do the impossible. I want to be nice, yet stern. Serious, yet fun. Obviously, the only way is through a compromise.

What exactly was it in Yang En's words that struck me? Right now, I feel that it's the phrase 'it's still a CCA'. More specifically, 'CCA.'

Maybe I've gotten too wrapped up in VS, until it's become my life. To me, CO is no longer a CCA, it's something much more than that. And I will not tolerate any failures in that on my part. I refuse I refuse I refuse. Only the best is accepted. Am I doing my best? Nowhere near that.

But maybe, it's because it's 12.45 and I'm really quite tired, both physically and mentally. Go to YangEn/Chen Ee's blog for a synopsis of what happened today. Perhaps I'll do my own version tomorrow, but this is more important.

Sometimes I want to make everyone think, feel and do things the same way as me. But wouldn't that be boring?

I'm really quite irritated by my thoughts now. My heart supports, my brain contradicts. My friend walks his own path. Mine's near it, but not quite. Not quite enough to touch, not quite enough for contact, for communication.

It's the river of blood that separates us. I want to jump across the river and hug him and tell him that he'll always have my full support no matter what he does.

But the river laughs at that, the blood gurgles.

The most important people don't read my blog. And I'm sad =(