Friday, May 11, 2007



[Watching Saw III]
Me - "Oh..."
[Movie Character's bones break]
All - "OHHHHHHH....Shitttttt"

Geography and A-Maths are over.
One caused happiness, one much displeasure.
It's hard to do, but I can do better.
Yet sometimes I feel, that it just doesn't matter.

Crappy poems are born from pseudo-emo moments where you attempt miserably to be the next Edgar Allan Poe or Shakespeare.

Anyway, reading someone's blog just now made me realize something.

Ok firstly, sorry for saying it so directly lah. Note that this does not change what I said at all, meaning that if you feel offended, then yar you might still want to be. However, you've known me for 3 years now and you ( of all people really ) should know that I really prefer being straightforward. It's honest, maybe brutally so, but...

I mean, I'm not trying to hurt you, really. But please know that I will not say something like that unless I really mean it, because I know it's important to you. If you think I'm hypocritical by acknowledging it's important to you, then criticizing you, then think again. I'm not trying to insult you, but it's just really how I feel. And if you are shallow enough to think of insulting me and claiming it as "your true feelings", then whatever.

Maybe it's just the way I've grown up lah, being the punching bag for my family. I've pretty much learnt to take insults, for better or worse. And I'm not that kind of person who can be all passive and just take it like that, not all the time at the least. I know when it's joking, and I'll retort with jokes of my own also.

But I've also become that kind of person who has to be straightforward. It's not to say that I cannot be subtle, because I can be, but I prefer not to be. What's the point, if there's the risk the message you're trying to convey gets confused? Aren't you doing more harm? Of course, there's always the possibility that it might be serendipity, but if we all thought that way, nothing would be accomplished and what good would that do?

I'll be subtle when I see the need to be. I've always criticized to the point, and until I see a need to change, I'll continue this way. It's not as if I'm criticizing every single little thing like fashion ( Danial: coughcough drawstringswithsandals I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING!!!) or whatever. Maybe it's harsh, I don't know, I wouldn't be hurt by those kind of comments. Thick-skinned, resilient, or simple immaturity, I dunno. Let's find out.

In conclusion ( thankyougeographytraining ), I meant what I said. Maybe it would have been better to have used a euphenism, but either way, my statement still stands.

Now onto a happier note,
or not, really, depending on how you look at it.

Saw III today was the most delightfully gut-churning movie I've watched in a lonnnng time. Danial, Shervin, Nicolas and I originally gave up, but after Syamil and Marcus showed us Arete'cy, we ended up watching the movie. Tis horrible, especially the Angel Trap. Brutal, brutal brutal. Especially the last scene where the doctor's head got blown up and it was like spaghetti splattered on the wall behind her.

And there was this scene where a judge got shot in the head. Danial said that he went nuts for a second, which explains why when I turned away ( because immahumjikia ) I saw his eyes like literally er...how do you describe it.... His pupils sort of ...dilated, I guess, then refocused. Wanted to ask him, but then forgot about it.

The whole bone-breaking bone-ripping bone-crushing movie was definitely powerful, the best acting of the Saw Trilogy according to Wikipedia.

I wonder how affected and traumatized the scriptwriters must be. It must take a genius, or a sick sad twisted sadistic mind to produce such a simply sadistic flick.

But the movie did have a meaning to it, lah, despite the bloody ( pun intended ) storyline. Especially since the "Jigsaw Killer" is really more of a vigilante than homicidal killer...His protege is more the evil one. But anyway, I've certainly seen a better view of my life.

I mean, my life sometimes sucks. But that just because I'm saying it. Compared to others, my life is like heaven. A warm home, close friends...I mean, if I say life sucks, I'm just wallowing in self-inflicted misery. Such people deserve misery anyway ( which is a paradoxical conundrum that I will not even try to discuss ) since they obviously so desire misery. Or is it attention? Hmmm?