Sunday, March 04, 2007



[During ELDDS]
Li Zhi - [Points to Gajendran holding a picture frame]
Me - "Huh?"
Li Zhi - [Giggles] "Gaga, nice self protrait"
[Cue eruption of laughter]

Any wonder why I am so immersed in my 2nd CCA?

Hurhur, so as I am leaving for camp tomorrow-

Eh? Why my blogger suddenly got spell-check? Weirrrrrrrrrrrrrd.

So anyway, I'm leaving for my Sec 3 Overseas Adventure Camp aka hell so I will be gone from tomorrow until Thursday night-ish. Why Night-ish? Because being the despo person I am ( and plus I'm horribly bored otherwise ) I'll probably be going for CO practice, if not just to catch up on whatever stuff I have to catch up on.

And to mark my period of fasting and starvation, which is camp by the way, I spent today feasting and eating. Much like the Mexicans ( or was it Dutch ) who spend the day before their month of fasting gorging themselves on treats galore.

Yes, the amazing things that you can learn from paying attention to MaxTV on the bus because your Mp3 is out of battery because you simply FORGOT to charge it the night before.

And taking bus to school in the morning isn't all that snazzy after all. Waking up a good half-hour earlier, not to mention the need to stand because it's already so crowded ( 6.05 bus mind you ) so early in the morning, is not justified by reaching school 5~10 minutes earlier.

And in the rare chance ( 1 out of 5 days ) I found a seat, you tend to get looks from hoity-toity businessmen and businesswomen and old people who look down at me as if it is a law that I must give up my seat. Not that I mind giving my seat and all, but when people take it as their god-given right that they SHOULD have a seat and youths like myself ( who work hard too ) are suppose to sacrifice my comfort for theirs with nary a word of thanks ( most of the time )

Spent yesterday out with the VS and RGS Peer Support Leaders. Bussed to school in the morning because of the abrupt CO Comm meeting. I was going there anyway with the thoughts of cleaning up the room, but decided to cancel the spring-cleaning session.

The current CO Comm ( my batch ) is quite...worrying actually. So far, we aren't really working together. The so-called "cliques" are glaring, with Yang En, Alphonsus, Vincent, I and the Sec 2s contributing ideas, the rest just slacking. Yang En and Alphonsus brought up the point about our frequent, but ineffective comm meetings. I feel quite responsible for the lack of effectiveness, because I keep joking and steering the discussion off-course. Therefore, I shall work towards striking a healthy balance between serious me and happy-go-lucky me.

Anywho, with the sec 3s gone for torture, the Sec 2 Comm should bond together in this great time of need * dramatic fist-shaking* Unless the Sec 4s step in, which will hopefully not happen.

Left the VSCO Group ( who were playing testing the station games ) at about 9.30 to join the ELDDS boys ( Daniel Tan, Chun Teck, Darryl and Hansen) for a bit of practice. Chun Teck is a pretty good actor if I say so myself, but he's quite...unnatural in the actions.

I've always found acting to be quite natural. To be able to throw myself into the shoes of another person is quite easy for myself. Maybe that's why some people are unnerved when I suddenly "switch personalities", it's actually spontaneous acting. I like doing that, it's interesting. Actions come naturally to me, and I can truly feel the character within me.

Honestly, I don't know what I'd do if I didn't find this avenue of expressing myself. I'd probably go cross-eyed and become a druggie without a way to release all my "creative energy" It just feels so natural to me, like I was born to do this. It's my calling. Brrring brrring.

Took a bus with Iceman (aka Alphonsus ) to RGS. Had a nice long chat with him on the way about mostly VSCO stuff, what's his opinion of the comm etc etc. Elicited an interesting answer from him when I asked him for his opinion of me. Not so interesting as in the way he said it, but more of the deeper meaning within it.

Grrr...

Sometimes I feel emotions within myself, feelings that I want to express, but somehow nothing I type seems to truly capture the essence of what I desire to vociferate. It's quite annoying, because I feel I'm not doing a good job as a blogger and I'm disappointing myself and others.

But I still lurbbe my blog. Not only does it allow me to record down what I think, but while typing out blog posts, it acts a time for me to be all retrospective. Kind of what Raphael Ong was telling Daniel and I, I suppose, about the whole reflecting thing. And 20, 30 years from now, I shall look back through my archives and remember how I was at the age of 15, and how I spent a glorious 4 years in VS, surrounded by dear friends whom I'm extremely grateful to have. Honestly, I'd be lost without them.

You know how some people mock the "I'd be lost without xxxx and I'm so grateful for xxx, I wouldn't know how life is without them". Well, it's true, isnt' it. You can never know what life would be like if you took "another path." You choose one path in life, or sometimes, life chooses a path for you. Regardless, you travel that path. And sometimes, those paths meet and intertwine, merging to form one, but always splitting up, regardless. And you'll never know what it would be like otherwise. So all you can do is appreciate what you have.

I believe God gave me the people I love, like, dislike and hate for a reason. I'm suppose to learn something from each and every single one of them. Good character and attitudes from people like Wei Liang and Yang En, how to be useless from Maxicheebong and Rio... So I'll be grateful for all of them, even people like Maxicheebong, but especially for those like Wei Liang.

I'm fascinated by daily life, because this world is just so damn bloody vast. And each of us just plays a small part in it; a small role on the grand stage of the universe. And how will the play end up? Will we, the actors and actresses, bring the play to a miserable ending? Or will this play end with "Happily Ever After"?

We'll see.