Saturday, January 06, 2007



(Sec 1 Orientation Camp)
Mr Siow - "Who wants to be entertained tonight raise up your hand."
[A few hands go up]
Mr Siow - "Ok, I'll go entertain you tonight. I'll be wearing white and long hair."
Me - [Nearly falls off seat with laughter]

So many great quotes during the Sec 1 Camp, but unfortunately, I cannot remember a lot of them. Pity pity. If I do remember them, I'll add them in. Don't get your hopes up though.

Sec 1 Camp was...well, a wonderful learning experience. Had to do my Camp Instructor duties, primarily, although I still found time to go help out 1D. Love me Zhong Yi.

Started out fine. Journey to the campsite wasn't eventful with the exception of Nico's and Danial's unique sleeping positions - Upright pseudo-fetal. Creepy, no?

Reached the campsite. Usual scram for sleeping positions ( not that it would matter later, I will get to that). Ended up wth one of the better ( if not the best ) spots, near the wall but not directly next to it. That place I let Danial have, because he doesn't go into a disgust-induced semi-seizure state upon seeing lizards and their ilk.

Got separated ( again ) into our various stations. I had the wonderful, fantastic slack-ass job of manning the GS Stations. A point to note: GS already means General Stations. So GS Stations is actually General Station(s) Station(s). Redundant? Yes. But remember, we have ATM Machines.

More specifically, I was in-charge of the Nitro Crossing station, although I ended up going back and forth between the NC station and the ...Tyre-Thing station ( which Jin Meng was taking care of ).

And oh my god, if the Sec 1 camp is ANYTHING to go by, which it is...They are going to have a lot of problems.

At least the 1st Cluster ( 1G, 1H and 1I ) wasn't that bad. Although Norhalim from 1G did piss me off. Which led to me writing his name down for the "Potential Problems" thing. Dexter and Pei Xiang vehemently objected, but last time I checked, it was based on our own observations and feelings. So quite frankly, I didn't give a damn. I'll write down what I feel until the day I have my freedom of speech right revoked. Deal with it.

Li Zhi says "Hi" by the way, since he was my partner Red Shirt for the 2nd day. Ok, cameo over.

And I really really need to vent a good deal of frustration accumulated during the Camp.

Firstly, the Sec 1s are mind-blowingly defiant. Ok, let's be fair, 90% of them range from "Very playful" to "Insubordination" to "Outright Defiant". I mean, I'm a Red Shirt. I was put in-charge of that station. I know what I'm doing, darn it. Listen to me!

About 3 or 4 times, a few people got injured at my stations. Why? Because they couldn't follow instructions.

At the Tyre station, I repeatedly told them not to throw the heavy tyre over the pole. But apparently, my instructions, assuming they do get through, take at least 10 fricking minutes before it registers in their brain. And thus, they just shove the tyre over the damn pole, and it comes crashing down on their friends. And they get injured.

So, I was already pissed off. Note I said pissed off, not concerned. If they can't/don't want to listen to instructions, then they can get hurt for all I care. There was this Sec 1 guy ( whom Li Zhi says reminds him of Kundun, but I suppose he was on crack/drugs that day ) who was really really treating his classmates like slaves. And when I finally told him to either shut up or treat his classmates with respect, he was like "Who are you to tell me that."

When I calmly told him "Your senior, the one in-charge of the station.", the mortified look on his face was hilarious.

Said Sec 1 guy also ended up injured, and like I said, I didn't really care. And anyway, I was only concerned about him getting hurt BECAUSE I would get blamed.

And before any of you say "Oh, but it is your fault. You are suppose to help them and keep them safe."

Yes I did that. I guided them only. I told them that they could build 2 fricking "towers". I told them to SUPPORT each other. I told them NOT to shove the damn tyres over the pole, but bring it slowly down. If they can't listen to me, then they can just get injured. If any teacher had accused me of not doing my job properly, I would have gladly argued my point.

Nitro Crossing also had its fair share of problems, although that one is quite understandable. For the swinging part at least.

And if there's one thing I vehemently, whole-heartedly HATE about the Nitro Crossing station, it's the first part of the station, the class getting the rope.

The rule was "No jumping. Use anything on your body."

So we pointed out to them that they could use their shirt, pants, shoes and shoelaces. For some classes, Li Zhi stressed the word Shoelaces. And for those really really 'gong' classes, I told them "You can use your shirt, shoelaces, pants, shoelaces, shoes, shoelaces or your shoelaces." When a guy said "huh?", I nearly vomited blood. Vomitting blood is my reaction to most situations.

And the sheer stupidity displayed by some classes during the stations means that either there's a level of intelligence that surpasses mine and Li Zhi's by such an incredible amount that I simply cannot get it, or that they're plain outright dumb. Some wanted to throw a shoe at the rope to knock it forward and have it swing back.

A bloody shoe.

Just for information, the rope was about...2 metres away.

A class actually tried to estimate the distance and come up with some "profound, mind-blowing original method" of getting the rope. After I nearly exploded and Li Zhi calmly pointed out that that was probably the epitome of "Eyepower", they decided to tie shoe laces together.

Here're some statistics:

20 students in that group
20 X 2 shoes per person = 40 shoes.
1 pair of shoes was the Velcro kind, so 40 - 2 = 38

After the decision was made to use shoelaces, they could only get 2, because the students weren't willing to take out their shoelaces. 2...out of 38...2, out of a fricking 38 pairs OF SHOES!

Since they couldn't get more shoelaces, they decided to try catching the rope with those 2 shoelaces and, at our tired suggestion, a shoe. We informed them it was too short. Still, they tried. And of course, they didn't get it. They can't get it. We already told them that it was too damn bloody short and those IDIOTS had to go and try it.

I remember that I finally shouted at them to just "TAKE OFF YOUR SHOELACES, JUST ONE MORE PERSON, ONE. MORE. PERSON!" That scared them, because up to them, I hadn't shouted at all. I mean, I had let my frustration show and all, but I hadn't actually raised my voice. So when I shouted at them, the fright was a catalyst of some sort, I suppose.

In any case, they managed to find and tie one more shoelace. And once that was done, they caught it on their next try.

And remember: This is one group. We had 3 clusters, each broken up into roughly 4 groups.

That makes 12 groups.

I know my blood pressure took a massive hike during 2 P.M to 4 P.M on the 2nd day, Friday. What happened was that I had already finished 2 clusters, the one in the morning nearly driving me to hope the station would just collapse.

Unfortunately for me, it didn't, but that's not the worst of it.

The arrangement was that a cluster would come over to the General Stations. There, they'd be separated into 4 groups. 1 group would do Nitro Crossing, 1 group the Tyre-Station, then the other groups would go to the Challenge Rope Course located near us.

Somehow or another, around 2.30 P.M, Li Zhi and I ran into a LOT of problems with the groups. A lot of Sec 1s from the CRC just kept coming, streaming in. That screwed up our groupings, and basically messed up our section of the General Stations.

After telling all the Sec 1s to just sit down and nearly burst a blood vessel while doing so, we went over to the CRC where I promptly blew my top at Wilgene. He explained that they didn't have enough manpower. Which was completely false because we saw 4 red shirts just sitting on the bricks slacking and talking among themselves.

Going back to the Sec 1s after Li Zhi told Wilgene to ( by hook or by crook ) bar everyone finishing CRC from coming over to the GS, we went back and separated the Sec 1s into...2 groups of approximately 20 each. Li Zhi took one group to go do the Tyre, I took my half to do Nitro Crossing.

After enduring yet another round of pointless questions, ridiculous amounts and abominably-stupid ideas, I did another headcount and found myself with 3 more than I had started with.

Apparently, those Sec 1s in Li Zhi's group got bored, even though their help was needed because they were having problems with the task, and came over to talk and watch, resulting in them mingling with the group. So I had to stop the entire thing, re-separate them and then go find their Peer Leaders, drag them over from CRC and made them stay there to take care of the group. It was either that, or I'd end up shouting again, and my throat was already damn sore.

Li Zhi and I lost count of how many times we nearly cried with frustration.


...

I'll blog again tomorrow. Late now, I'm still tired from a lack of sleep, and there's Church tomorrow.