Wednesday, January 03, 2007



Mervin - "Come, let's go!"
Me - "Uhh...you can stop dragging me you know."
[Once out of the canteen]
Me - [Under breath] "Thanks for slamming me into about 4 tables."

First day of school is over. And let's just say that if everyday was like today, I would have enough material/inspiration/pulitzer moments to update my blog almost daily.

Ok, so today, all the PSL skipped our own classes to follow the Sec 1s around to be their guiding star in this large complex institution. Although as a Sec 1, there were enough signs for directions, not to mention the canteen was glaringly obvious, so it puzzles me how some of the dear Sec 1s could possibly be so misguided as to walk in the opposite direction. Ah well.

And a regret I must mention is that I cannot possibly be a Monitor this year. Missing class today was bad enough, but because of the Sec 1 camp tomorrow and friday, I can't "run" for the Monitor or Assistant Monitor positions either. Now I might not be in the Class Committee either, which might prove both a boon and a bane, depending on how I look for it.

The cheering session today...was a disappointment to say the least. The Sec 1s were rather unenthusiastic, nah, they were VERY unenthusiastic. It was really quite disappointing to see the lack of energy and enthu-ness in those young somewhat-innocent peeps.

Then again, further reflection has brought to mind the comparision and likening of them, to us. I mean, us Red Shirts during the Leadership Camps, the Leadership Training Camp ( LTC ) to be precise. If we were like them, so dead, then no wonder the seniors nearly had seizures trying to be all ra-ra and infuse some excitement and enthusiasm into us.

But it was really, the lecture / debriefing we were given post-cheer that smacked me in the face, figuratively speaking of course.

During the effort to teach the Sec 1s the School Anthem, senior Gabriel was singing at the top of his lungs. I distinctly remember thinking of him as foolish, embarassing, and somewhat crazy and even leaned over to tell Danial so.

But later, during the debriefing, he explained that he sung so loud to get everyone to sing louder. And when I think back, even though he was freakishly loud, even though he was abominably off-key, when he stopped, wasn't the singing a whole lot louder?

Yet, if he hadn't justified (It's not the proper term, but somehow, I would prefer to use this term now ) his actions, I doubt I would have figured it out. So much for maturity, eh?

Another thing that struck me was the sentence "You might have given your best. But if that's your best, then it's not good enough", uttered by Ren An, if memory serves me.

I believe that statement came about because of two things, possibly interconnected

1. The cheering wasn't good enough
2. (Possibly thus leading to) A lack of enthusiasm amongst the Sec 1s

For now, we'll exclude number 2. Discussing both my thoughts on 1 and 2 together would probably lead to confusion and a very cross-eyed me.

Isn't your best, 100%? Or as some, like me would say, 110%? I ,for one, don't accept the argument that your best can be better. For me, I believe that if your best isn't good enough, then it's because of yet another 2 reasons:

1. You haven't reached your true best
2. You aren't good enough

While number 1 is the more likely reason of the two, for this cheering fiasco at least, I do think that maybe number 2 could play a part as well.

Some of us do our best. But because of the rest not following and putting in all their effort, it collectively does not reach the "Best" benchmark.
But what if our best, our collective best, really isn't up to standard?

Which just calls for an overall attitude improvement. We have the Sec 3 camp and the Cross-Country Championships ahead of us, in about...3 months time, give or take. Let's not fail the seniors.

We've failed the seniors several times now. And it's because of an attitude. I see those with the "Let's do this so we can go home" attitude in these kind of positions. I think we can assume that they just have an attitude-problem ( so to speak ) . The other option I've considered is a flaw in the so-called "system" , leading to a lack of enthusiasm overall. The seniors picking those ,who aren't good enough, to be leaders would also be considered a flaw in the "system", so it falls under that category anyway.

-But-

I feel the Sec 1s are to blame too. They just weren't taking it seriously. Some of them were laughing even. And maybe that's wholly our fault now, come to think of it. If we had done better, surely we could have at least gotten the message through to some of them.

Then again, if they don't have the willingness, we don't have the way.

So I ask myself this question:

"If we don't inspire the Sec 1s, is it really completely and utterly our fault?"

Sometimes, I wonder if we just did it better, a whole lot better, then no matter how strongly anti-cheering/whatever they feel, we could change them, for the better. But is it really true that we can do that?

Which is stronger...The will to change, or the will to resist.

We could give our best. But if they want to fight it, really want to fight it, then what can we do?
But, if they still want to fight it, maybe we aren't good enough at all...

This world suddenly seems too large and complex for me.

Hope to find solace and wisdom in prayer.

God, I need your strength now, more than ever. To change me, to improve myself, and those around me.