Saturday, December 09, 2006



Auntie Melda - "You have a pimple."
Me - [Promptly over-reacts in an overly melodramatic fashion.]
Auntie Melda - [Rolls eyes]

Hmmm...I've the sudden longing to blog.

>.< style="font-style: italic;">cheem cheem post. But unfortunately, my brain is too drained to use any bombastic words in this post. Besides, there's always the "Perpetual Vociferations" of Mr Cheo's blog.

Ahhh...Using "Vociferations" ( OMG5SYALLABLEZ!!!!1!!1!!1212! )

PDPC Outing planned for 18th December. PLEASEEE PEOPLE, either talk to me or Sophie online for the details! Which is pretty much just -lunch- but if people actually...you know, REPLIED, we could fix something else.

And we must contact Da Koh and Da Meyer.

Hmmm...Sadakoh.

And Sophie's getting an Ipod. Darn. I want an Ipod....No, actually, I just want my dear mp3 to stop PMSing.

Well, soccer yesterday after CO was...fun I guess. Not having the usual guys around ( Wee Bian, Benjamin Lin, Delson etc etc ) was a major downer. Ended up with only me, Kenneth, Alvin, Ernest, Ming Cong, Wei Liang and Han Hao playing.

1st game: Ming Cong, Wei Liang and I VS Kenneth, Alvin, Ernest and Han Hao
2nd Game: Ming Cong and Alvin VS Ernest, Han Hao and I
3rd Game: Ming Cong and Alvin VS Ernest and I
4th Game: Didn't happen. Thankfully.

Hmmm....

Can't wait for the CO BBQ next Saturday. Should be a blast, and hopefully everyone turns up and we all have a wonderful....time....

Damn, felt a bombastic word creeping up on me, and then it ran away.

Mapling again...This time, chionging ( as always ) in Delphinus. Started on Wednesday, ~5 PM, I'm lvl 27 now. So...Not a bad rate, thanks to the 2x exp. With luck, I'll advance by tomorrow. Advancement in 5 days, new record for me.

Blah.

Church tomorrow. Haven't been to the holy KKMC for 1 month now, so I'm pumped up about going back there. Didn't give Robin or any of my youth group members any word about being in Perth or at camp and stuff, so I hope they don't think I've left KKMC again.

That would suck...

Okay, rest of the blog post going to be about Christianity and stuff, so if you're not interested, close the window now...



Several Christian songs popped into my head as I was playing computer games this morning/afternoon. Notable lyrics:

You are forever in my life...
You see me through, the seasons...
Cover me, with your hands...
And lead me in..your righteousness.

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name.
You give and take away...
You give and take away...
My heart will surely say..
Oh Lord, Blessed be your name.


I want to know you, God....And ever since that devotion together with Weng Keong that night in PLC, I've wanted to know you even more.
But sometimes, it's just so hard.
All the sins...And then, I even enjoy some of the more...devious ones...And it's frightening...Knowing that I could relish such things.
So I ask for your guidance and strength, and that you will lead me. Lead me in your righteousness. And I'll look to you, Lord.

I see what you've inspired in others, people like Randall and Weng Keong...
I mean,
What makes them so committed to you? That they devote so much of their time to you.... And they love to do so, because there's just something so wonderful...in that way you've touched them.

And I want to have that. Even just a small fraction, just to begin with. It sounds selfish, I know...And I know you know too =). But if I could have that...That kind of wholly devotion to you and to your kingdom, then I would be happy. Truly happy.

I know that I've not been trying very hard to get to know you, and that's completely my fault. I remember Robin once saying something along the lines of people admitting God into their hearts only on Sunday, then he would vanish for the rest of the week. I suppose I fall into that category. But I do think of you...But then again, I don't know if it's enough.

Which reminds me, about two months ago, I had a little conversation with Weng Keong. I've blogged about it before, but that was incredibly minor and didn't do it any justice.

To refresh your memories, and save you the trouble of digging into my archives ( the few that bother -.- ), it was basically a conversation about living our life for God.

I told Weng Keong that I wanted to be a significant somebody, because I wanted to make God proud.
Then Weng Keong told me that God was, sorry, IS already proud of me.
Which made me wonder: God died for me, so how can I possibly repay that debt.

Becoming a Peer Leader...Junior Leader...Camp Instructor...I took up these leadership positions because I wanted to, and I admit to not having thought about you, Lord, when I did. But now, I just want to make you proud...I don't want to have your sacrifice go to waste.
If one day, when I die, I arrive at those beautiful pearly gates, but I'm refused entry because I didn't live my life for you, but for myself, then I think that would be worse than hell. Although I suppose nothing is worse than Hell, so -that- would be hell.

But...Oh dear sweet God, how do I commit everything to you? How do I truthfully, and honestly say that I do this, and I do that for you? No, wait, saying it is easy, but how do I -mean- it? I could easily say "Oh, I did this good thing for God." But how do I know if I really did it to glorify you, or just purely to benefit myself?

Often, I picture myself as this boy sitting on this small island. On one side are islands with big signs proclaiming "SIN", but they offer very tempting things. And then there's your kingdom. It's very far from me, almost just a speck. And there's this..this rope that I know leads to your kingdom.

But you see, the waters between the "SIN" islands and my island are very shallow, the waters are warm, and it's all so easy.

Conversely, the water on your side is infested with sharks, some sharp pointy objects and about a million of those floaty land mine things. Which symbolize the hardship that I need to go through to reach your kingdom.

So which side do I choose?

If I were to imagine this about 1 year back, I would be sitting on that island, not going anywhere...

I've begun to pull the rope now. It's a pretty long and arduous journey filled with danger and things that go boom all the time, but it'll pay off, I hope. I just hope I do reach your kingdom. Scratches, wounds, missing body parts ( except vital organs), I don't really mind. To me, your pearly gates are a checkpoint/portal of some sort. You go through pseudo-hell to get that, but once you're through, everything's healed.

Please let me be one of those through the gates. That's what I pray for.
So please help me, dear Lord.