Wednesday, November 01, 2006



[MSN Convo]
Sophie - "Gaah..."
Benjamin - "Baah..."
Me - "... Waah..."

Li Zhi's in Hong Kong, and I am jealous.

Yarly.

So anyway, today was the briefing for the LTC and PLC. Met Weng Keong on the bus to school and started talking to him. As we entered the school canteen, he mentioned...something about God dying for us that made me say that I didn't want to give up the red shirts. I wanted to be useful. He then said that God already died for me, and is already proud of me...

Which makes me wonder: Am I doing this for myself? Or for God? Right now, it's definitely for me, because I want to feel like I've achieved something, that I'm not the all-talk no-show I was before. And I seriously think that I've got what it takes. Maybe the people around me have doubts because I've never really shown what I have. But now, it's time for me to step up, and I'm determined to give all I have. It's about time anyway.

And I'm planning on keeping all my red shirts, becoming a black shirt in at least one of the leadership positions, and getting a 75% average throughout the year. At least. Then I'll be satisfied. It does sound daunting, but dammit, next year's the year I'll give my all. And at the risk of sounding like a sociopath, I will get it, no matter what it takes (Read: Beat the crap out of anyone in my way)

It was really quite disappointing, for both me and the seniors, that our squad/group was so...dispirited. I mean, everyone was just stoning there...staring at one another while our senior Raoul ( I think that's how you spell it ) tried to get us talking. And if we are going to be like this during the camp, with such a lack of enthusiasm, then our entire squad might as well not go. We'd probably end up stoning there to, with our seniors yelling shit at us to participate.

Oh wait, I forgot. Yelling at someone to do stuff is particularly effective never.

Sometimes I wonder if I could meet my goals with just focus, determination, and an arrogant, judgemental and dismissive view of all others.

One more thing:

I now have an unopened envelope, marked " On Government Service", from MOE's Finance and Development Division and bearing the marks of Giro.

And it's for Ganesha. Which I forgot to give him on the last day of school.

Someone out there hates me.

And when I find him, I'm going to whip his ass.