Saturday, April 08, 2006

Ehehehehe

Me - "Now my child...You must be normal like me- BURN ANT BURN WAHAHAHA!"

Well, I just got done watching Happy Tree Friends so my crazy mood is kinda over.

Really, I'm not too sure if I should blog anymore. If my tagboard is anything to go by, then only about 2~3 people read my blog. C'mon people, tag more. This little 14-year old guy needs thy encouragement.

Okies, what am I going to blog about today? I don't know really, I just feel like blogging.

For starters, there was CO CIP today. Wasn't nearly half as bad as I thought it would be. Judging by my ELDDS CIP [ Which was a COLOSSAL FLOP, read about it a few posts back ], I thought it would be another disaster. Fortunately, it turned out well; I got plenty of donations. The people collecting the tins didn't say anything like "wow good job, the tin's so heavy" and such.

On the other hand, if they had said something like " So light?" I think I'd have freaked out right there and then. -.-" Oh wait, then I'll just ask them " Ok, since it's so light, let me drop this on your head. If you recover from your concussion within 1 years' time, you win." That way, I win if they don't recover. And if they do, they had a concussion anyway so...yeah I still win.

Oh yeah, fell sick on Friday. I really need to stop pushing myself so hard. I know some of you guys/girls out there are probably like "WTF? HIM PUSHING HIMSELF HARD? HE"S A **** SLACKER!" Yeah well, it's just that you people don't see it. I really do set high standards for myself and when I don't meet those expectations, I give myself emotional hell. So please, when you see me in a bad mood, it's probably because of that. Thus, you really shouldn't try to piss me off further. Because I'll end up doing something unpleasant, and no I won't say sorry. Why? Because you. provoked. me. This ALSO serves as a warning to my classmates.

There's definitely way too much stress in my life. I know what's happened in my past has passed, and there's nothing I can do about it. But still, that one unpleasant episode is really holding me back. It's this constant torment that when coupled with stress from arguing with those ASSFACE BITCHES ( you know who you guys are ) at school that tears at someone emotionally. The reason I fell sick was because my immune system was really weak yes, but not because I "didn't eat enough vegetables and fruits." Well, not mainly anyway.

I'm sure the MAIN reason is because I am simply way too stressed. Schoolwork is bad enough. Tuition homework is still not too much. What really kills is the CCA. Ironic in a way, since I do love my CCAs ( even though I don't show it for CO). But really, VSCO isn't that bad. It's music, nice music. Sure, it's not conventional music like VS Concert Band ( you guys are great by the way), but it is nice music regardless. I guess you have to actually be playing the song to like the music maybe. After all, I did start liking CO after I actually learnt and could ( and I still can ) play the songs. It's just something about knowing that you -ARE- part of the music, that you are contributing. Without doubt, my instrument ( Double Bass ) is not the main instrument, we don't even have a melody 3/4th of the time, but I've heard VSCO play without the Double-Bass and Cellos and boy, it sounds freaking weird.

Wow, digressed a lot there. No matter really, a blog is where you let out what you feel. Of course, you can't really express all you feel because of a certain organization's tyrannical rule. Freedom of speech my foot. I should be allowed to call anyone any name I like on the internet and not have -that- organization knocking on my door 5 minutes later with the intention to arrest me.

A lot of the CCA stress definitely comes from the KC-VS drama ma-bob. Again, it's ironic. I get so stressed from that, but yet, I know I'll definitely be sad come 22nd May. Let us all just hope that on 22nd May, all ten of us - Adeeb, Benjamin, Charlotte, Daryl, Hansen, Mei Jing, Sanam, Si Cheng, Sophie and I all give our best performance. If we succeed, then at least some of the emotional pain is alleviated (forgive the spelling, but I feel like using that word). All our hard work should, must and WILL culminate in something spectacular that will WOW the audience, make them think hard and thus, result in a change of our current assessment scheme. Also, a topnotch performance may allow the VS EDC to push for Core Status ( which was unfairly taken away in my opinion) once again.

I never realized acting was so hard. Like what Mr Meyer said " Whatever you feel, what emotions you have, you must show it. And it must be magnified 10 times!" That is very true, which does not bode too well for me. I myself find that I am definitely not a good actor. I have problems keeping my emotions flowing through me and "being" the character. Which results in problems with my expressions. I find them static, like they are frozen on my face. Either that, or it's just plain spastic. Acting is hard indeed. It's not pretending to be a character. No way...

Acting is about BEING that character. You have to feel the emotional state of the character, and then translate that into your speech and actions. And talking about speech, it's not easy to project your voice while still expressing emotion.

For example, I need to lower my voice to show maybe...doubt? Therefore I need to be even louder, so that when I lower my volume, there is a noticeable drop, yet I am still audible. I definitely need a lot of practice.